Finding Authenticity and Gratitude in the Midst of Chaos:
Closing 2024 and Looking Towards 2025
It’s a rainy Thanksgiving, and I’m spending it alone. While family beckons, the allure of solitude and the responsibility for my aging dog, Astro, hold me here. This year has been a whirlwind, a doozy of burnout and betrayal, leaving me grappling with questions of authenticity in a world that feels overwhelming and uncertain. (I’ll be saving this blog for the end of the year. And here we are.)
But you know me, don’t fret!…
In the face of adversity, I find solace in Donna Marcova’s words, “My life is no less than or greater than yours, it’s just the only one I know to make authentic.” But the path to authenticity is riddled with challenges. Societal norms, expectations, and the weight of global events cloud my vision. It takes guts to be true to myself, and I’m grateful for the support of those who fiercely encourage me to hold tight to my own Light and core values.
This journey of authenticity isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s an adventure of the heart.
Navigating grief and joy, stillness and celebration. It’s about delving into the sacred depths of my being and asking, “What do I truly want?” The answers lie in sacred scrolls within, guided by angels, nature, loved ones, and the whispers of my soul.
Reflecting on my early forties, a period marked by the pandemic and personal challenges, I’m struck by the profound impact it had on my life. Amidst the difficulties, I found strength in self-reflection, confronting my own biases, and engaging in conversations about race, anti-racism, healing, growth, trauma, and so much more.
I emerged with a renewed conviction that no one can extinguish my passion, purpose, and dedication to personal and collective healing and growth!
This newfound clarity led me to mindfulness meditation teaching certificate and a deeper commitment to trauma-informed and DEIA practices. I joined the board of Three and a Half Acres Yoga, an organization dedicated to bringing healing to underserved communities. I envision a future “Beloved Community,” a space for healing and connection that will be birthed in 2025.
The past few years have been tumultuous and glorious. I’m grateful for every challenge. Each one has brought me closer to my authentic self, strengthening the foundation upon which I build my life. I share my story not for sympathy, but to encourage reflection and growth. As the song goes, “Show yourself, step into the power… You are the one you’ve been waiting for.” –Frozen 2
May we all continue on this journey of self-discovery, embracing the challenges and celebrating the triumphs. Let us find authenticity in the midst of chaos and remember, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
I want to leave you with a song that I feel encapsulates a lot of the feelings in this blog.
This was a song I rediscovered on that Thanksgiving day. It validated my clarity on that day that began with uncertainty; “My hands are small I know, but they’re not yours, they are my own.”
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your journey of authenticity?
Some of mine and others have included:
- Societal norms and expectations: Feeling pressure from societal norms and expectations, which can cloud one’s vision of your own true self.
- Global events: The weight of global events, such as wars and the suffering of children, can make it difficult to focus on personal growth and authenticity.
- Questioning and uncertainty: Feeling questionable, uncertain, and as if your experiences have “rough, gray edges,” which can hinder your exploration of authenticity.
- Betrayal and loss: Experiencing betrayal by a business partner, a friend, a loved one, which can cause you to question your own authenticity and purpose.
- Judgment and bias: Experiences of being judged and facing bias, can lead to a period of self-reflection and questioning.
What practices have you found helpful in your journey of self-reflection and authenticity?
I have found several practices that have been helpful in my journey of self-reflection and authenticity:
- Mindfulness Meditation: This practice has been instrumental in my personal and spiritual growth.
- Trauma-Informed Practices: Trauma-informed practices of yoga, reflection, healing circles, therapy, and more, have played a role in my healing and self-discovery.
- Inner Reflection: Inner reflection, particularly in the context of confronting biases and understanding my self, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and intuitions from my body have been profound.
- Real Conversations: Engaging in real conversations about race, anti-racism, climate crisis, wars, hatred, love, meaning, faith, healing, and purpose has been crucial for my growth and understanding myself and the world.
- Community Engagement: Involvement with Three and a Half Acres Yoga and my vision for a “Beloved Community”, while curating events such as Holiday Hiatus and my retreats, continually proves and provides Light on the necessity of community.
All my love,
Shawna
Breathe and Believe.
P.S. Additional inquiry to inspire you here at years end. I haven’t always been an “end of year reflections” kind of gal, but this year was extraordinary!