How is your heart?
When you see your heart, as it is today, what is your heart needing?
In my MMTCP training, we were led through a beautiful guided meditation. We were invited to picture a path. As we were guided along the path, it was spoken to us that we were about to turn a corner on the path. We understood that when we turned the corner we were going to see what our heart was experiencing these days.
As I turned the corner on my path, I was so overcome with the energy of a huge waterfall! We are talking “Victoria Falls between Zambia and Zimbabwe in Africa” kind of huge! It was pouring, rushing and gushing! The thunderous sounds of the movement gave an energy of power and overflow.
I was immediately overcome with tears. This rush was a complete pouring out of my heart for all the pain of suffering in the world. I let myself cry until naturally the tears subsided and my body calmed into a stillness that was no longer shaky or heaving.
As the tears subsided, I also felt how this rushing water was. Also the incredible, infinite amount of love that I do have to offer. The reassurance entered back into my body and the grounded sensations of affirmation for all of life created a renewed length in my spine and a release of my shoulders.
I sat in awe at the edge of the land, watching this huge waterfall just continue to pour! Its mist could be felt against my cheeks as I closed my eyes. The sound turned into more of the humming of the Universe, soft and sweet and nourishing. It almost felt quiet, and yet the movements of my heart’s energy continued on.
In this moment we were asked to just observe what it is that our heart needed most. And at that moment a small tin mug came into my hand. I dipped the mug in the water that had fallen and was now pooling and swirling. I brought the cool water to my mouth, sat, and watched in wonder.
I sat still and quiet; watching. I sat still, quiet, watched and felt how this is what I need most right now. Stillness and quiet, to allow myself to just be. To sit still and allow myself to just ground. Or, to sit still and quiet, and to wander to the things that I’ve been pondering.
Deep breath, won’t you take one with me? Now, another one. Sit still. Soften. Just Be. Be here, in this moment, and nowhere else. Just right now, close your eyes and breathe. Sit still and breathe.
What do you notice?
Go down the path if you like. Turn the corner, what is your heart experiencing these days, how is it these days? Then ask, what does it need?
These prompts, as well as many others, have continued in the energy of the past few weeks around pilgrimages, journeys, and our wanderings in life. Vision quests, thresholds, turning points.
Do you notice that you are in a moment of change in your life? Are you at a threshold? If so, first take notice of what that feels like. What does it feel like to be in a moment of transformation? What does it feel like to be at the threshold and to be able to both look back and look forward? And of course, what’s present right now?
Last week’s blog we explored pilgrimages, you can read it here:
https://shawnaemerick.com/pilgrimage/
It was the beginning of some wonderful introspective props.
Some of the prompts in the pilgrimage blog were:
- What are you bringing with you?
- What is most dear to your heart?
- What do you always want to embody, value, and remember along this journey?
- What might you need to leave behind?
- What has already been left behind?
- What do you already know?
- What do you hope for?
I invite you to read through them and notice which ones really stick out and resonate for you. And then take some time to journal, right, or move your body while asking the question and see what comes through.
As I did this homework this past week, I found that only more questions arose. So I returned to sitting with my heart. I returned to some reading and some time of more study in my training. And of course, low and behold, this Kabir quote was the first thing spoken in my training:
“I felt in need of a great pilgrimage so I sat still for 3 days.”-Kabir
I do feel like I am at a pivotal moment in my life. A very transformational place. I feel like I am at the beginning of something great and new and everlasting that excites me! I also feel that a lot of old ways of being have been shed and are consciously trying to be shed.
So I softened to life. I stood in this liminal space. And I just waited. I invite you to do the same if you’re in a moment of challenge or change. This can be difficult to do. It IS a radical thing to do! Why? Because it goes against the grain of societal expectation of driving, doing, and producing! But, I want you to try it.
Here are the questions that came and that are inspiring me at this time of my life to take a look in words. To reassess. To reconnect.
The Further Questions as Prompts:
- Are you at a threshold?
- What is the aspiration of your heart here?
- What do you need?
- What does your heart need?
- What is falling away?
- What do you need to set down or let go of, even if only temporary?
- What do you need to let go of permanently?
- What are you bringing with you?
- What are your valuables? What are your values?
And Parabola magazine that I get quarterly, in one of the articles it said that many mystics say to us:
“Do not be afraid.”-Many Mystics
This struck a deep and curious cord with me. I could feel my heart quivering. I know that I hold fear and trepidation. I know that at times I worry excessively and at other times my anxiety is felt. These are moments where I draw upon my practices and tools to help navigate the shakiness and uncertainty.
Therefore, these further prompts came up when I started to question….
Where do you draw courage from?
Further Prompts:
- Where do you draw courage from?
- What will it take to release the fear?
- What do you physically need to release the fear?
- What do you emotionally need to release the fear?
- What do you spiritually need to release the fear?
And then these questions came:
- What strengths do you know are true about you?
- What do you know you are already capable of?
- What do you know is already possible?
- What do you know that is true about yourself?
- What have you experienced before that shows you your strength?
- What have you experienced before that shows you your Truth?
- What have you experienced before that shows you that you are fully supported, loved, and accepted by the Universe?
I really just came up with more questions than answers. And yet, I want you to remember this one thing….
You already know! You just need to trust your ‘Knowing’, and you must believe in yourself!
Use the questions to realize your Inner Wisdom; to see what Guides you and where you are being Guided. (This is why we ‘A.L.I.G.N.’ in my somatic healing sessions. The G is for “Guided”!)
“Breathe and Believe, baby!”- I imagine my favorite little cartoon blob, Lennie, saying this!
“Don’t think, but love much.”- Teresa of Avila.
All my love,
Shawna Emerick
Breathe and Believe.