A fig tree with HUGE buttress roots grows in front of the cabina that I am staying in for the week. The three other women rooming with me are just as awe-inspiring as the nature around us! We have four beds, two side by side at each corner of the pony-walled cabina (think half walls, not floor to ceiling).
We have mosquito nets for peace at night, and a whole bunch of excitement as we dive into this Osa Peninsula, TROPICAL Costa Rica retreat! Soon, 18 others will be gathered with us to move, breathe, rest, swim, and dance for one week in one of the most biodiverse locations on planet Earth! 🌎
Everything is alive here!
Even in the darkest depths of night, the sounds are incredible. The hum that you feel when you touch a tree or pass by a gorgeous flower is otherworldly. The streams that lead to the ocean, as we flew high above them, looked like veins leading to the heart of the world. I could feel my own veins pulse with life and felt as if my own body were like the body of mother earth.
And then there is the actual moving life that you will see in Costa Rica. The sloths, the butterflies, lizards, birds of all types, and so much more. The capuchin monkeys, howler monkeys, and the spider monkeys are also playful. And then there are the creepy crawlies.
I had the fortunate interaction with an eight-legged friend. A Golden Silk Spider! (See the picture from ‘spiderindentifications.com’)
Between two trees just outside of the cabina I was living in for the week, I almost immediately noticed a very large web! And right in the middle was the most gorgeous spider. She had about a 2-inch length body that was dark and speckled with yellow dots. And her lovely long eight legs extended out from her core in the most graceful way, as if a ballerina.
I didn’t know what type of spider she was until a later Google search, but I did sense that her presence was a large motherly presence. I would often walk past her and say, “Good morning mama spider”! I sensed that she had something special about her, but I had no idea.
On a jungle nature walk with a naturalist, I came to learn that she spun a web that was used as protective gear for police. The web itself was not able to be plucked by our soft fingers; it didn’t break. And, she would sometimes share her bounty with other smaller spiders! Nature is so magnificent.
I remember this member, the spider, in the circle of all of life!
The Spider Totem:
“The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy and creativity in the spirit animal kingdom. Spiders are characterized by the skilled weaving of intricate webs and patience in awaiting their prey. By affinity with the spider spirit animal, you may have qualities of high receptivity and creativity. Having the spider as a power animal or totem helps you tune into life’s ebbs and flows and ingeniously weave every step of your destiny.”-
And this Golden Silk Spider especially:
“First, the asymmetrical webs of golden-colored silk can be up to 2 m (6.5 ft) in diameter! These clever spiders often construct their webs above garbage, helping to attract insects.
The silk of this species is also being tested in medical applications. For example, some studies have shown that a piece of silk can connect severed neurons, allowing them to heal properly after injuries. In addition, the silk doesn’t elicit an immune reaction from the body, which means it could be used to help people with paralysis or brain injuries. It sounds like science fiction, but it could be groundbreaking in the future!”-https://birdwatchinghq.com/spiders-of-costa-rica/
On about the third day of this retreat, I consciously chose to leave myself open to the universe to notice whatever message I needed to carry into the next class that I was to teach. I have found over the years that leaving myself open to Source is one of the best things that I can do. To leave myself open to seeing what messages are all around me. I was receptive, unbeknownst to me at the time, like the spider!
As I was walking back to my cabina for a little break before the class, I turned the corner and with great happiness was looking forward to seeing mama spider. However, as I turn the corner my reaction was anything but happy. I immediately felt despair and sadness.
“Unfortunately, Golden Silk Spiders must repair damage to their webs constantly because birds and large insects are always flying through them.”
– bird watching article mentioned above.
Mother Golden Silk spiders web had been downed on one side. And my heart was broken for her. And yet, she stood still in the center, steadfast and unmoving.
As quickly as my initial reaction of despair happen, my second moment of insight came, and the message that I had left myself open to was received.
“All is not lost!”
Mother Silk was still there, present at the center. All the symbolism and the metaphors started to flow. Half the web was downed, but half was still standing. And the Mother in the middle, seemed as if centered and grounded within herself going to her own core. She still understood her own light, her own worthiness, her own abilities.
All is not lost! Yes, part of the web was still there, and yes the other part could be repaired. But the light within mama spider was also still there, no matter her situation. All is not lost for us even when we think it is.
All is not lost even when we feel as if we are broken. All is not lost even when we fear the timeline of our life has not added up. All is not lost even as our heart is experiencing the despair and sadness. All is not lost.
And in fact, all is here. We have everything we need. All is right here. When we open ourselves to all things, we see the joy that is so intimately connected in relationship to despair. All is present within us, the harshness with the ease. The difficulty with the resilience. The sadness and the joy.
All is not lost!
And if you feel lost, take time to be still like the spider. Patiently await the moment when you know to either act from within your own heart, or to see that moment when the universe shows you the next step.
This golden silk spider chose to move on. The next day she had left the web. I know, without a doubt, that she is creating her next incredible design. Intricate, woven, creative, dancing on her eight limbs, smiling with no thought of loss, but only thoughts of joy for her next catch!
May you be patient, dear heart. Await the beauty that is coming! May you see the beauty that is all around you right now. May you acknowledge the beauty of your own self.
All my love,
Breathe and Believe.
P.S. Next week I’m going to share the story around ‘Green Man’, synergy, the chakras and how the Spider Monkeys supported us!