You Belong – A message to remember at all times.

You Belong

This is one of THE most important messages that I pray every person will remember at all moments of everyday. 


Say it with your name now.  Say it out loud.  Say it in whatever way you like, be it a whisper/scream/deep/high/singing voice, even if it feels weird:

“I, (your name), belong.”

You have a right to be here; literally and spiritually. You belong. You have a place, an important and necessary place, in all things. So let’s explore this a bit more…

Sebene Selassie asks, “Do you believe it? Do you believe that you belong?”

In her book, “You Belong: a call for connection”, Sebene (Se-bin-ae) writes what has been ringing in my heart for weeks now:

“Do you believe it? Do you believe that you belong? Because you do. You belong. Everywhere. Yes, you– with all your history, anxiety, pain. Yes, everywhere– in every culture, community, circumstance. You belong in this body. You belong in this very moment. You belong in this breath. . . and this one.  You have always belonged.

 When you don’t like the joke, you belong.

When you’re the only one of your race, disability, or sexuality, you belong.

When you’re terrified to speak in public, you belong.

When you feel hurt or when you have hurt someone else. You belong.

When you are down to your last dollar and the rent is due, you belong.

When you feel overwhelmed by the horrors of human beings, you belong.

When you have a debilitating illness, you belong.

When everyone else is getting married, you belong.

When you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, you belong.

When the world feels like it’s falling apart, you belong. When you feel you don’t belong, you belong.

Contemporary life makes it easy to forget belonging. …”

What is this “belonging” then?

By definition, from the Oxford dictionary, it means 1. be the property of and 2. be a member or part of. 

Within this context, I am not talking about being the property of anything or anyone. You are not to be made a possession in anyway. 

The atrocious ways in which certain types of people have, throughout history and even today, gravely and wrongly assumed they have a right to ownership over others has always been evil. It’s dangerous. It separates us. 

It’s dangerous for both the person who thinks they can “own” someone else, and for the person who is the “possession”. The emotional trauma happening for both is extensive. 

It devalues everything that belonging is in its most loving form. 

Now when my kids are fighting over a stuffy toy, I often hear, “that’s mine”, and I cringe. And yet, I am trying to balance two qualities that belonging can support us in upholding.

  1. Sharing is caring


  1. Healthful boundaries are a good practice.

So, yes, let’s share kids! AND, in the long run, I want my kids to know that it’s ok to let others know that they don’t want to share right now. This turns into practices of not giving too much of their time, not giving unwillingly of their bodies, and not subscribing to the patriarchal and capitalist cultures of giving all their time for productivity.

You have a right to your space, your time, your energy, and your heart.

Don’t let others claim it, steal it, or take it. 

And, give freely.

Be generous. Share. Love. 

And let others know how much they belong.

Context and situation matter. This is a balance.  Life is a practice.

AND you belong! Here. Right now. And the most important practice of all that you can offer yourself is the practice of belonging.

Practice being your inherent self. 

Practice simply being. Sit now. Breathe. Breathe slow and steady. Rest in awareness of what is. Rest in your breath. Rest in the beingness of being here, now. Ground into this moment. Breathe. 

Practice being related to a blade of grass, a kitten, a bird. Practice being connected with your heart, your body, your mind. Practice being linked to trees, to rivers, to clouds. Practice being in harmony with this moment, with your past, and your future. Practice giving respect to yourself, to others, to those you don’t like, to those you love, and to all. 

Other synonyms of belong: reside, regard, become, chime, correlate, correspond, be a part, be connected with. 

The Beatles have a song, Eleanor Rigby. It’s pretty potent. It makes me feel melancholy and yet, with this blog, I want to offer loving kindness to Eleanor and to Father McKenzie; I want to tell them, you belong. 

We belong to each other. We belong to the Earth. We belong to this incredible Source that is life, that is love. 

Not in the way of possession, but in the aspect of connection. Of compassion. Of forgiveness. Of Oneness.

Because what I do has an effect on all. And what anyone else does, inevitably has an effect in my life. It’s not always direct, but it matters. What we do, what we say, and how we say it, matters. Therefore, you matter. And you. And you. We all do. We each matter. 

The puzzle cannot be whole without each unique piece connecting to the unique pieces around it. You have a place. An important place in all of life. It’s not surprising that another synonym for belong is ‘fit’.  

May we show our appreciation, love, and kindness to others as often as possible. May we show to others how much they belong. 

And I invite you to do this with yourself FIRST, dear reader. Say it here, what you said at the top of this blog! “I, (your name), belong.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And so on…

Show yourself kindness dear one. 

Offer yourself positive regard.

Tell yourself supportive messages and words.

Move your body with gentleness and intention to nurture.

Breathe in your belonging, and breathe it out. 

Keep breathing.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

I am going to continue in my classes this week to explore this blog’s sentiments because this blog came out completely different than expected; and I belong, this blog belongs! AND, this message is that important!

Last week the class was wrapped in belonging in correlation with the two wings of mindfulness as taught to me by Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach:

  1. Kind awareness and 2. Compassion


To feel you belong comes much more easily when offering your kind attention to yourself with compassion. It means that when the negative thoughts come in, you acknowledge them, and then you are also able to not be attached to them; they don’t become you, and you recognize you don’t have to become your thoughts.  

This is revolutionary to most.  It can also be pretty difficult because there are some beliefs about ourselves that are hard to shake. They are so deeply ingrained in us that we have to keep cultivating awareness and more compassion…

Cultivate the practices of awareness to catch the limiting beliefs or negative patterns.  Cultivate the courage to look at what we tell ourselves that we don’t like about ourselves, our life, our past, our current life. Cultivate the loving-kindness to just be with what is. Cultivate the brave heart to take action on changing what we can, and cultivate brave acceptance towards that which we can’t change. And to cultivate connection to that place in ourselves that is Light. That is love. That is That which belongs; has always belonged; will always belong. Because you are. 

“We are because we belong.”- archbishop Desmond Tutu.

You belong.



Breathe and Believe.

P.S. A song for you.