“You look so beautiful!”-Maxwell
Max said this the first time I a wore a nursing dress after Quinn was born(that’s me pregnant with her/above picture).
“I love your jiggly tummy, mommy.” Then Max would make me fake laugh so it would shake! I loved this!
Post-partum bodies, and really EVERY BODY, should be honored and looked at with such love. Thank you, Max, my son, for loving me so! You don’t know how much mommy needed that help. Yes, help.
It’s taken me until this point in my life to finally feel almost completely comfortable in my body. Some days I get sad for wasted time and energy, and mostly wasted headspace for all the worry, judging, caring about the wrong stuff, and self-sabotaging mind set. No more!
To share, to declare, to hold myself accountable, and to inspire others to NEVER judge a BODY. The human form has always amazed me, and it just continues to do so!
My post-partum thoughts and body have inspired and instigated these healings and more…
The Healings
“And the realization,
that my body is holding creation,
I pause.
Profound in my embarrassment
for not realizing it earlier,
i am forever in awe.
For not embodying it more fully, I try now.
In my trying i often fail.
But it is in the knowing, it is in the Light getting brighter, it is in the clarity, it is in the spaces opening that I can walk into as myself.
That I can know myself as Creator, as Divine.
For it is the opening of my womb that creation came for, stepping into this world from the other.
It is the home of my womb that is the home of creation and therefore the home of the Divine. This realization that I am the home of the Divine, and therefore I am the Divine, and we all are the Divine has rocked my world.
I hope to embody this knowledge, to carry it with me always.
I hope to have my heart, my mind, my spirit, my soul, and my physical form be seen as Divine, and for me to know it as Divine.”
*IMPORTANT: you do not have to give physical birth to know this. This knowledge is for ALL! We all came from womb and water. We ALL came from Creation and are Source its Self.
For me, this was mind-blowing after having my third child. My second child was a miscarriage in the late first trimester, and a complete shock.
I still wonder, why it is on a day-to-day basis that I still have difficulty embodying this, and, therefore, not serving myself as I would serve the Divine, as if it were an entity outside of my Self. And, at the same time it deepens my resolve that others know their Divinity, and that others know they’re worth, and that others experience such realization, and connection. Connection to what lives inside of them that is nothing separate from God, Source, and all other names that you might call it. It deepens my resolve to no longer waste mental space and emotional happiness thinking about how people see me, what they might be thinking of me, and what they might be expecting from me.
This is the manifesto!
And now you, dear reader and friend, how have youy been feeling in your body? In your heart? What do you declare you are releasing forever? What are you making space for, so that something Greater can enter? Send me a message if you like! It is also a new resolve to respond to you! Thank you for always supporting me. Namaste. Read on for a little more if you like; things to ponder.
"It is it's own little birth to tell a story"...
“The tearing had to happen in order to make way for what was growing within. The separation, the cracking open, the tearing, and the discomfort all had to happen in order for life to begin.”-Shawna Emerick
“It’s in the telling of these stories that another layer and level of growth and connection happens. It is it’s own little birth to tell a story.“-Shawna Emerick
Sometimes it is our bodies that show physical badges of the journey, and yet often these parts of our body are always hidden, or we hide them. I think we should show them. We should let people see, let people ask the questions, let people hear our story, and / or tell people are stories.
And then I felt called to mention the patriarchal and societal expectations that have been portrayed on multimedia levels of what a woman’s body should look like, and what makes it “beautiful”.
What we need to be doing is portraying healthful bodies, healthful nutrition for everybody specific needs, healthful exercising suited for everybody’s specific needs, and healthful lifestyles, as well as way of healthful consciousness and mental health.
It is the Yogic remembering that we are of this body and not of this body, and we are of this mind but not of this mind; we are Light itself.
And as I go through my own personal journey I must remember these words as well. That I can nurture and love my body and all that it has done, and all that it has given me, and all that it continues to do for me, and that I can choose a mindset of compassion and joy. Compassion and consideration for myself and for others. (One of the biggest takeaways from co-leading the first Bread and Yoga local retreat was just that; consideration is different than compassion.)
This is also to say that this goes much deeper than just physical body image. It goes beyond my upbringing in the dance world, which I have often felt is not the only source for this challenge in my life, but definitely part of it. No, this goes deeper. This goes to that place of fear of rejection for not looking a certain way, fear of failure, fear of not being enough. This is ridiculous. I constantly tell people in my life how ‘enough’ they are without needing to look or act a certain way, or say certain things. Sometimes it’s hard to practice what we preach, but every time I appreciate it, it sinks in deeper into my body, my being.
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I’m also thinking of those who are born into one body, who have never felt comfortable, or at home, in that body.
And I’m thinking about the body positive movement.
I sometimes wonder if there is a neurological connection that I wasn’t born with, or something in genetics that gives such confidence and self-esteem, for lack of better terms. For it was the Dalai Lama who, in an interview, said that he did not know what self esteem was, nor did his language hold a term that which was a synonym for self esteem.
We all must live our own stories, being brave and being bold, and to remember that Light within us, to share that Light with others, and to keep burning even when we feel as if the world, or our own thoughts, are snuffing out the flames!!
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Finally, I love how Russell Brand catches it for me. It’s an “imaginary standard”(the body image thing)!
And, sometimes I have wondered if this issue has held me back in life. I’m sure it has. But, I DONT want it to stop me anymore.
Enough is enough, and I AM ENOUGH!
‘Nough said. Lol!
Love to all!
Thank you for reading this far! Haha!
Namaste! And as I say, “Mama-ste”! 😉